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Diary of a Lost Gnome Part III

Day 48 in Human Land


I got a job today at Adam’s Mushrooms and rented a one-room flat at Gnarly Oaks. It comes with an oven, its own water pump and so many buttons. I don’t even need a horse to draw water from the well.


Day 67 in Human Land


I learned out to drive and obtained this magic key that causes many things to appear and many doors to open. Sometimes you insert it in locks and press buttons. Other times you hand it to a human. Humans call it a Credit. Card. You can do just abot anything with it but fly…actually you can do that too.


Day 84 in Human Land


I brought home a Prius today using my Magic Card and something called “money” which I do not have. I LOVE the human world. I don’t even know how to drive! I think I will learn how on the roundabouts of Gig Harbor.


Day 86 in Human Land



Thanks to the fact that my Prius is so fuel-efficient and I was too scared to exit the roundabout, I drove around in a circle for two full days. I’m exhausted, dizzy, miserable and sick, and I almost got hit by a Big Truck. Part of the trouble is that even in a Prius I had a hard time seeing over the dashboard and reaching the pedals. I wish I could find a portal back to The Underplace. I want to go home.


Day 88 in Human Land


I started writing a travel book called Driving Gig Harbor’s Roudabouts. I don’t think anyone’s done a guidebook to the roundabouts yet, so this might be something that humans and gnomes find interesting for generations to come.


Day 90 in Human Land


I found a portal back to The Underplace. It’s under a bench in Donkey Creek Park. I opened it a crack and took and peek and saw the other gnomes having the Singing and Dancing Times, and Qwannyth was playing the fiddle and tapping her foot. I wanted to join them, but I thought about my lease agreement on then apartment and the payments have on the Prius. The Human Land sure does get a hold on you after a while! Maybe later I’ll go and skip stones with the King of the Ruckus or grab a burger with my new friend Harold, Blue Sword of Veracity.

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